Saturday, February 20, 2010


I've had some heaviness developing in regards to my friendships.

One friend I'm afraid to see...or talk's weird but some stuff went down not really related to her and I'm afraid our friendship isn't the same since then.

Another friend and I realized we've had crushes on each other for 2.5 years on and off, but it's never been good timing and now we live 8 hours apart. For the sake of this blog we are going to call him Cute Starbucks Barista. He doesn't work at Starbucks nor has he ever been a barista but this name is hilarious for reasons as to which I cannot reveal. Since the day we met we've had a thing for each other. He had a girlfriend...then I had a boyfriend...then him and his girlfriend were on the rocks...I moved to Nashville....him and his girlfriend broke and my boyfriend broke up...etc. He has always been there for me no matter what. He's a great person and one of my best friends. We've both toyed with the notion of being together but never had to opportunity to act on it. The 8 hour time difference has really put a damper on things. We both agreed that the timing is bad right now. I am working on myself and in no position to start dating again. He makes me smile. He keeps me laughing. It's effortless...Someday perhaps...but for now we agreed to keep it normal and casual.

The ex and I are trying to be friends. We are doing ok, ironically. We hung out with my Sexy Paw Print and her husband last night (they introduced us) and it was...normal. Nothing sticky or messy. We had a talk on the way home about some heavy stuff but it didn't seem "heavy". Our conversations are vastly different than when we were together. Somehow, our conversations have become meaningful. The content has become heartfelt and interesting. He's opening up to me more. Without the added pressure of being together our bond is slowly developing into a positive place to exist. Our little bubble that we created when we were dating was our little bubble has popped and we can breathe again.

I wish that everyone came with an instruction manual. pft.

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