Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Demo Me, Baby.

I did something utterly redneck-ish and attended the demolition derby last Saturday.

I'm giving you a moment to be shocked.


Moving on.

Now, let me just get this out of the way early. IT. WAS. AWESOME. may take another moment to contain your laughter.

Seriously, you guys. If you've never had to opportunity to watch the demolition derby live you must put it on your bucket list. Never in my life would I have considered this hobby as a form of entertainment. My favorite part is before the derby even began and this guy couldn't get his car started so he couldn't participate in the next "heat", "leg", "quarter" Frick, I don't know what they call it. Back to my story, in true redneck fashion he made a huge scene and threw his hat on the ground and kicked it with his dusty work boots. He threw his hands up in the air and blurted out a string of redneck-ish cuss words I don't dare repeat because my momma would kill me. I am lady after all ;) I mean, I feel for the guy but damn. Have some dignity. Poor loser? I'm unsure of the code of conduct for such an event. I mean, when you have a bunch of guys crashing into each other calling it a sport, I doubt an actual code of conduct exists. It should, but it's highly unlikely.

I feel like I need to end this post with a "Get er done!"

Stay gorgeous ;)

Em ♥

Well The Day Is Gone And I'm Moving On...

....from the endless lessons that teach me to keep strong

Those lyrics resinate in my mind every time I feel defeated or I want to give up. Lets face it, life is anything but easy. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I know that the only thing that is going to get me where I want to be is blood, sweat, and martinis...errr wait, I meant tears. I think.

When I came to the conclusion that I needed to be the change that catapulted my life into a more positive place I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But, (can you technically start a sentence with a "but"? ) BUT, I held fast to the principle that I possess the keys to my future. I control how successful I am. Nobody can tell me that I won't be wildly amazing. Because, I am amazing. Seriously, you are too. Even on days when I want to empty the whiskey bottle and feel like the biggest failure on planet earth I have to tell myself "Emily, you're an amazing woman that can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Don't let them get you down. Oh, and you have a great ass" Imagine me staring at myself in the mirror saying this as my roommate walks by. lol. Whatever, I'm not proud. Or am I? I don't know.

My point is. Be the change you want to see in yourself first. Once you have yourself figured out everything else just starts to fall into place. And seriously, give yourself pep talks. I do, all the time. It works.

Stay gorgeous ;)

Em ♥

Thursday, October 21, 2010

This Post Is Brought To You By The Letter "F"

I was asked by a friend what blogs I read.
This is a list of my favorite blogs in no particular order.

The Frugal Girl - She just ended a series on Contentment. I seriously recommend going back and reading all of the entries. It is inspiring. She also has an ongoing series called Wednesday Baking, I love it. This amazing woman bakes from scratch for her family every week and still has time to share her recipes with us.

Love Maegan - Maegan is a woman living in L.A. that loves fashion, art, DIY, and her puppies. She is inspiring because she repurposes old pieces of clothing into new pieces. Like this skirt into scarf DIY.

Joy The Baker - Amazing recipes with a humorous undertone. I thoroughly enjoy reading her blog. Make these.

Noble Pig - OH. MY. GOSH. Comfort food with a twist! Pumpkin Carmel Bars With Bacon. Drooling.

Fashion Toast - Rumi loves fashion more than I've ever seen anyone love fashion. She travels the world and takes creative photos. It's a fun blog to read!

The Sassy Curmudgeon - She is hilarious. She blogs about everything and I wish I had her sense of wit.

Style Porn - She loves fashion and has a unique sense of style. I love her fascination with Sugar Skulls. I thought I was the only person this side of the border that was obsessed with their beauty!

I love a lot of things that start with the letter F.


Happy reading ;)

Disney Hell

Mickey Mouse, we need to have a conversation.

My Sexy Professional and I went to Disneyland last weekend. It was a perfectly amazing overcast day and 84,000 (actual amount of people at Disney that day) other people thought so and that they would go too. It was astronomically crowded. During the fireworks we made friends with a family behind us who shared one dynamic observation: The "Cast Members" at Disneyland are rude. The Magic Kingdom in Orlando is SO much better. The cast members are a hell of a lot nicer. We witnessed two people being yelled at by cast members and then we were snapped at because apparently they were changing the flow of traffic and we didn't get the memo. We passed three cast members and not one of them said a word to us, but when we made it to "Big Bertha" (names are changed to protect identity and it's possible I forgot her name) she yelled at us. It was so completely uncalled for. I am extremely disappointed in the cast members at Disneyland. A little bit of the magic died for me that day.

On a positive note:

If you've never been to one of the Disney parks during the holiday's, you're missing out. In true Disney fashion, everything is 100% over the top. LOVE!

The Haunted Mansion was redecorated as The Nightmare Before Christmas.

I met Jack and Sally

I got to eat Cotton Candy

I played in Chip and Dales Treehouse

P.S. this is NOT made for adults

I met Aladdin

I got advice from the Fairy God Mother

She said I need a prince that is patient, kind, and not a mouse. Noted.

But mostly, I stood in line.

With a smile ;)

Judy Blume Goes Hollywood

Okay, Sit down for this...

Judy Blume is FINALLY making a movie out of the book Tiger Eyes! She is a legend and I lust after her brilliance and level of success.

Go here to read about it.

I just purchased Tiger Eyes on GO get your copy. . . they are selling out fast!


Stumble Upon

I sprained my wrist.

The unofficial official story is that I hurt it sky diving.

The officially official story is that I hurt it opening a jar of olives.

I will let you decide which story is legit.

I personally thought if I ever hurt myself this terribly it would be from stumbling on, up, over, or under something. (including flat ground. It happens) I'm hopelessly clumsy. Ask my boss, he's seen me stumble almost everyday we've worked together. I blame it on vertigo. That's my unofficial official story. I'm not even sure I understand just seems like a legit excuse. Inner ear problem, anyone? No? And of course, because the universe loves to mess with me I sprained my right wrist. I'm right handed. Typing, writing, eating, and getting ready in the morning has been curiously interesting. The world is just not created for left handed people. I'm outraged. I don't know how people that are left handed deal. My Sexy Professional is left handed. Much respect, sister. Much respect.

Responsibility Is Subjective

I wrote this awhile ago when I was still working for a cell phone company. I was going to submit it as a freelance article (after I quit) to consumers about their idiotic behavior towards cell phone companies...I may still, but I just came across it and thought I would share.

1)Please refrain from calling into a local store to discuss your bill. This is extremely irritating to the commissioned sales representatives whose time is money. This is why there is a customer service number provided to customers. Besides, there are at least seven people waiting patiently at the store for a representative to become available.

2)Do not…and I repeat, do not ask a sales representative to explain every single phone to you. There are at least 30 different phones on the sales floor at any given time and each phone is different yet the same. A blackberry is essentially a blackberry with minor differences like the megapixel of the camera or if it has global capabilities. Research your options before you come into a store and have some sort of idea of what you are looking for. Even if it’s a vague notion, perhaps you want a full keyboard? That’s a start. Expecting a detailed explanation of each phone is extremely time consuming and disrespectful of your sales reps time and to the other people attempting to wait patiently in the store. It is mainly your responsibility to know what type of phone you are looking for. Your sales rep can help narrow down your choices and get you the right device to fit your needs…but don’t expect them to be thrilled to spend an hour with you for you just to choose the free flip phone with no accessories and zero data capabilities. Sales rep get paid of accessories and monthly data charges and it’s costly for them to spend time with someone who is just interested in the basic phone but still wants a detailed explanation of every aspect of every phone. Get smart people.

3)Don’t get mad at your sales rep if you’re not eligible to upgrade. They have no control over this. They are not trying to ruin your day. In fact, this is just as disappointing to them because they aren’t making any money either. Sales reps have quotas to make and if you’re are not eligible to upgrade then they are not making any money. And get this, if you do throw a fit and are allowed to upgrade early, the sales rep is still not making money. You have to be out of contract for the sales rep to get credit for the sale.

4)Do you know why you are only eligible to upgrade every two years? Cell phones are expensive. Yes, that free upgrade you got actually cost the company $199. Cell phone companies loose money on their equipment every single day. This is why you are required to sign a new two year contract, they aren’t just going to give you a phone without some sort of assurance you are going keep their services. Stop complaining about the length of the contract or the fact you can’t upgrade whenever you want. Be thankful for the price of that phone. For example, Verizon Wireless sells the Motorola Droid for $199 with a two-year contract. That phone is $569.99 at the full retail price. Get over yourself. You got a killer deal!

5)Data plans are there for a reason. Why get a Blackberry or an iPhone if you can’t use the data services? The phone is a pointless novelty without it. $30 a month to access the Internet wherever you go, have instant access to your emails, the applications, and navigation is a great deal. That’s a $1 a day. Come on now, you spend more than that on coffee at Starbucks. Don’t whine to your sales rep about data packages, they don’t’ care. They have ZERO control over their price plans and data packages. Spare them the pity party. If you don’t want a data package then pick out a phone that doesn’t require it. IF you don’t like the phones that don’t require data packages then suck it up and buy a data package.

6)Pulling the “I’m going to switch services if you don’t bow down to my every want” doesn’t work. Give your sales rep a break. Frankly, they don’t care if you switch services. It has absolutely no negative effect on their paycheck. In fact, now they don’t have to deal with you. So screaming, yelling, threatening, and just being a jerk is only making you look like an idiot and they will have a laugh at your expense after you leave.

7)If YOU go over YOUR minutes why should the company pay for that? It’s not the companies fault you were irresponsible with your monthly minutes. Track you minutes, people. Most companies have a number programmed in your contact list that you can call that will let you know where your minutes are at for the month. Use it. Don’t call up and whine and cry because you didn’t use your head. Oh, and if you call Canada there will be international charges on your bill. “What do mean Canada isn’t free to call?” çseriously

8)If YOU break or lose YOUR phone why should the company pay for that? A manufactures warranty is only going to cover software issues. Don’t bring a damaged phone into a store and expect a free replacement. Warranties don’t cover stupidity. Most cell phone companies offer insurance. Sales reps don’t’ offer this to you for their health. Insurance is useful in situations where you’ve lost your phone or it is broken. And, don’t get mad at the rep behind the counter if you have to call to get a phone replacement. You broke your phone, you take the time out of your day to remedy the issue. It is not the reps responsibility to call the insurance company. If you crashed your car would you take it to the dealership and have them call the insurance company? No, you wouldn’t. Oh, and always have a back up phone just in case. Buy a cheap flip phone off ebay or craigslist so if your phone is stolen or broken beyond repair you aren’t out of contact.

9)That $56.70 data charge on your bill IS your kid downloading ringtones. Don’t lie to the rep or try and act like you shouldn’t pay for it. It’s virtually impossible to just create data charges on a bill, not to mention illegal. Cell phone companies have safe guards in place to prevent this from happening. Talk to your kids, the company knows they did it, they know they did it, it’s time for you to wise up and realize they did it. Block their downloads and web access. SHOCKING, take a deep breath. If they can’t handle the responsibility of having Internet access then don’t give it to them. Don’t expect your cell phone company to credit data charges and ringtones that your kids downloaded. This is parenting 101.

As you can see, it wasn't an easy or enjoyable job. People have no sense of personal responsibility. I'm blessed to have stumbled upon the job I have now. I was making quadruple the amount of money working at the cell phone company but I was so unhappy it was damaging my relationships.

Lesson: Do what makes you happy.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Strangers and Tequila

I'm always amazed by the situations in which I find myself.

Last night I picked my sister up with my sexy professional because she's going through a break up and needed some sissy time. We were all in leggings and t-shirts because we honestly planned on drinking pumpkin beer and having a scary movie marathon in bed. Absolutely zero plans to be social. However, when you live on a golf course that has glow golf charity events not being social isn't exactly an option. We were walking to our door and several drunken men wearing glow in the dark necklaces and plaid pants (hot? Maybe) were offering us beer, rose tequila, and a ride on their "golf carts" Normally I would just say "No, thank you" and go inside, but my sister and sexy professional said I was boring. ME? I'm not boring. I'm rational. Didn't your parents ever teach you about stranger danger? Mine certainly did. I'm telling mom. Taking their opinion under consideration, I did what any rational girl would do that wants to prove a point. When offered, I took a swig out of strangers tequila bottle. Reflecting back on this it was probably not the best idea I've ever had for one of three reasons. 1) I could of been roofied. 2) They could of had the herpes of the mouth. 3) All of the above. When questioned why I would do such a thing I simply replied "You said I was boring!" I thought that was relatively daring and not something I would of normally done. I was momentarily proud of myself.

Later that night we discovered they were golfing for the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and raised over 300k. Drunken men in golf carts are fairly entertaining, mainly annoying, and freaking hilarious...but philanthropic men who care about kids = home run. (Like my spin on that?)

I learned two things last night.

1) I am opposite of boring.


2) Rose tequila is delicious.

Stay safe and don't drink out of strangers tequila might just have fun ;)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Can I Just Have A Gaga Moment?

I long for glamour and drama in my life right now. RED lips, dark larger than life eyelashes and feminine silhouettes. Life is mundane when there isn't a reason to primp and prettify yourself. I need to find justification for my impending extravagance. . . but knowing me, I won't wait for it ;)

Until then. . . day dreaming will do. My mom always said I was melodramatic.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Unlucky In Love

Much to my embarrassment, I haven't posted in several months. Life has been beyond busy...which should be no excuse for an aspiring writer. I'm going to go ahead and file this under: FAIL.


I paid off ALL of my credit card debt. That was one of the first goals I set for myself this year and the one I am most proud of achieving.

New goal: Pay off my student loans in two years. I can do it. ( wish me luck )

I am single. No more ex...just me. I don't know if you are currently aware of this but I had a heart wrenching break up. So instead of healing I did what any girl would do and dated a couple of guys and then got back together with the ex that wrenched my heart. At that point I preceded to spend ALL of my time with my ex until I moved back to Arizona. The day we said goodbye...that was the saddest day ever. Well, not ever...but it was up there. Like when I was 4 and my family moved from Florida to Michigan and I left my Miss Piggy stuffed animal behind. That was rough. It kind of felt like that. But worse.

I digress.

I don't have a new goal for myself in the love department. I've been unlucky in love. I'm just going to live. I have far too many other things to direct my attention to. Worrying about men seems ridiculous. ( And there is no one I'm even remotely interested in, so that makes not dating a lot easier. lol. )

I was unhappy with my job. So, I quit! My job made me angry on 952 different levels on a daily basis. It wasn't healthy. I was effecting my relationships. I stopped going out with my friends (sorry girls), the ex never saw me in anything but pajamas, I stopped doing my hair ( seriously, I just bobby pinned it up everyday, ew ) I stopped being happy. I realize it's mind over matter, but seriously...when a man yelled at me to go F@CK myself because he dropped his phone in the pool and I couldn't give him a new one for free. . .it was time to reevaluate why I worked there. I never liked that job. I always felt like I was working for no valuable reason. I had no purpose. I have a great work ethic, but not when I'm being disrespected like that. People are insane and I just had to get out of that business. I pray I never have to do that again. I work for an excellent company now. It's a small business SEO firm and I'm in love. Check us out,

I moved. I looooved Nashville but I was sick of having to plan long weekends just to see my friends and family. So I hopped on a plane and moved back to Arizona. I hate the heat but ima let it slide because I love the company that resides here.

( AND, Flagstaff is about a two hour drive. . . it's cold there. LOVE )

I had a lofty list of goals to achieve this year and honestly the end result to all of them: Happiness.

I realized earlier this week that I just want to be happy. So I'm working on that ;)