Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentines Day Is The Devils Holiday.


This is how today went down.

My Sexy Pinata gets an Edible Arrangements from her baby daddy. Totally not jealous (<---lying).

My Sexy Sorority Sista gets a dozen roses from her man. Totally not jealous (again, lying).

Emily gets a beautiful arrangement of Lilies. My favorite. The card reads:

"Will you be my Valentine?! I hope you have a great Valentines Day! -Mr. VCB"

So....I am thinking...a peace offering? Yes?

I BBM Mr. VCB like an ass and say...

"Of course I will be your Valentine! Thank you for the flowers"

He replies:

"Yeah this is awkward, I sent those before we broke up and after last week I thought it wouldn't be appropriate to send them so I canceled the order, somebody must of screwed up and sent them anyway"


I obviously feel like an ass...and I'm totally humiliated. I tell him I am going to send the flowers back and he said, AND I QUOTE, "NO, keep them, you DESERVE THEM."

UHM SCUSE ME...deserve them? Yes, you know what, I do deserve them....I deserve them, not only for putting up with condescending bullshit like that...but for also putting up with his ever present need to be involved in everyone's life BUT his own...for always having to rush after work to meet him at some lame event that LORD FORBID he miss because we all know he can't let his friends have fun without him (I'm convinced it's something to do with his childhood).

I threw them in the dumpster....I didn't even take them out of the box...I trashed them.

You know, I didn't even like him that much. I would have daily conversations with my Sexy Professor about the red flags I saw or the things he did that drove me nuts...I looked at her one day and said "You know, it doesn't sound like I like him very much" and she agreed...yet, I dated him. What's wrong with this picture?

Why do I do this to myself? I make myself like guys that I don't like because...why?

I haven't figured this out...the ex knows why...the ex freaking figured it out...I knew I kept him around for a good reason.

He said I am unattached but not cautious. Meaning....I am not cautious when dating a guy...I want to be loved...I'm human, every human wants to feel love...but I am willing to sacrifice what I want to feel that love....hence the NOT cautious part. I never feel an attachment because I don't even really like who I'm dating.

I am willing to look past red flags and things that irritate the living shit out of me to possibly feel that "love". <---not a good way to start a relationship.

I'm SO glad I'm on a Guy Time Out....I can't handle this crap anymore.

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