Saturday, December 26, 2009

Blackberry Messenger Just Got REAL!

Mr. Vintage Cowboy Boots threw me for a loop yesterday while he was driving home from Louisiana. I want to post the conversation because it was THAT interesting but I will to save it for my book. He wanted to talk about being scared and having reservations about being in a relationship because he didn't want to sacrifice his independence or his relationships with his friends. I was wondering why either of had to sacrifice anything? I told him that he was creating problems that didn't exist and he agreed. He apologized for being concerned but I told him there was no need to apologize. I don't ever want him to feel like I can't tell me what's on his heart. I spent a year in a relationshit where I couldn't say one word about being concerned or I was "breaking down". I refuse to treat someone else like I was treated for a year. It's funny that I think back to all the times that me and the ex talked about his "emotional superiority" and now I realize that he wasn't emotionally superior to anyone. He was cold and unemotional. Emotions are something that happen when you are growing as a person. You can't grow without being hurt, happy, sad, frustrated, humiliated, enraged, ecstatic, etc. Emotions are the launching pad for every human interaction. So no, he wasn't emotionally superior, he was emotionally inferior. He lacked maturity when it came to normal human interaction. I spent a year of my life thinking that the ex had it all figured out when in truth he really didn't. I'm pretty sure he lives a miserable existence. I couldn't imagine living without the love of someone else, or even being open to the love the someone else wants to give you. The truth is: People need people. That's how God designed us. We need human interaction and love. Don't ever let someone tell you that you shouldn't need people to live. That's bullshit. I believed it and I was miserable. As soon as the ex and I split I realized how much I was missing out on in life. Moral of the story: Treat people with respect and love. So, that's what I did. I was frustrated with my conversation with Mr. VCB but I put myself in his cowboy boots and treated him with the love and understanding he deserved.

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